Bartholomew Martin Schitt-Haus was
poised to revolutionize the "Out House"
until Thomas Crapper fucked everything up.
Thomas "John" Crapper is credited with improving (and ultimately popularizing) the indoor flush toilet in 1880s London, England. This revolutionized the way the world uses the bathroom and essentially destroyed the life of B. Martin Schitt-Haus. Within weeks of bringing a new outdoor toilet to market, B.M. Schitt-Haus learned that a Royal patent had been obtained for an indoor flush toilet. The patent was in the name of Thomas Crapper.
Thomas "John" Crapper looking all smug and shit.
With his life's work now obsolete, Schitt-Haus grew weary. No matter how hard he tried, he could not squeeze out a new idea. Becoming flush with emotion, he knew he had nothing left in the back of the tank. He entered a clockwise downward spiral into despair. B. M. Schitt-Haus eventually committed suicide by swallowing a lit cherry bomb. To this day, high-school teenagers honor him by flushing lit cherry bombs down toilets the world over. Joke Grenade salutes him with this important blog entry.
In Memory of B. M. Schitt-Haus
1841-1891
No comments:
Post a Comment