NEWS IN PHOTOS:
POTUS to Take FLOTUS to Club Lotus on Short Notice
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| First Reports of Going to Opus Are Bogus, Most Likely Lotus. But Don't Quote Us. |
Nothing But Fags, Cry Babies in Man's Court-Ordered Sensitivity Training
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| Arturo Vasquez is Pretty Sure You Can Tell Just By Looking at the Photo, It's a Whine-Fest. |
Hemorrhoid Sufferers 'Sit-In' Protest Becomes a 'Stand-In' an Hour Later
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| Famous Actress Daryl Hannah, Although Not a Hemorrhoid Sufferer, Loves a Good Sit-In. |
American Indian Casino Offers Free Drinks Only to Rescind Deal Later
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| To the Dismay of Customers, Fire Water Went From Free to Full Price in a Matter of Hours.
FEATURED STORIES:
Tornado Leaps Affluent Neighborhood
Residents of Woodland Heights Quickly Put a Lavish Party
Together to Celebrate the Destruction of a Nearby Trailer Park.
WACO, TX-- A strange yet slight change in wind direction altered the course of the region's most deadly tornado in recent history yesterday. As the storm neared the wealthy suburb …
FDA Warns: "Prisoners, Toss Your Salad!"
Warden at Lincoln Correctional: "No Greens. No Butt-Eating. Period."
Health officials on Tuesday identified pre-packaged salad mix as the source of a severe stomach bug that sickened hundreds of inmates…
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