Important News Stories That Affect You

Taking Care of Beeswax... Everyday

INDEPENDENCE, MO --- Two boys pulled their badly bee-stung friend six miles to Centerpoint Medical Center in a Radio Flyer wagon on Tuesday.  Seven year-old Matt Williams...

See PUFF THE MAGIC WAGON

Standoff at the Rodent United Nations

(AP)--- Mouse Liberation Army insurgents and ATF agents exchanged gunfire Sunday in the 22nd day of a standoff at UN Rodent headquarters...

MOUSE POPE PLEADS FOR PEACE, CHEESE

THESE STORIES AND MORE AT JOKE GRENADE NEWS

NEWS HEADLINES

Astronaut Neil Armstrong Stripped of

His Seven Tour De France Titles

Neil Armstrong will explain his actions on the O Network.

Lance Armstrong Accused of Using Performance-
Enhancing Valve Oil for Trumpet

"I didn't do it," Lance tells Oprah Winfrey in a
tearful interview on the O Network.

Louis Armstrong Becomes the First Black
Trumpeter to Walk on the Moon

Oprah Winfrey to perform a duet with the space-traveling musician.

Senate Torture Hearings
 Excruciatingly Long

U.S. Senators Take an Early Recess to Nap.

Sugar Ray Leonard's Former Olympic Boxing 

Trainer Posthumously Penalized for Below-the-

Belt Contact

Leonard divulges the details of his being
molested in his new autobiography.

Fear of Death-By-Drone-Attack Keeps Motorists In Line

FREDERICKSBURG, VA--- After just one week of the Commonwealth's controversial new Sky Enforce Law, traffic violations throughout the state are way down. The law is clear and simple: if you speed or run a red light, expect to immediately die in your car from a drone missile attack...

See FIERY DEATH TRAP 

Red Light Cameras are for Pussies.