e-Frolics New Member Profile

LadiesMan2008

Age: early twenties
Sex: all man
Ethnicity: white
Religion: I believe in beautiful women
Body Type: well-built
Height: 5 foot 7
Relationship Status: single and ready to mingle

Looking For: all the beautiful ladies that love the ladies' man
Profession: waiter at Chili's 
Income: rather not say

About Me: I am the closing kitchen manager at Chili's four nights a week. After that, you can find the Ladies' Man out on the town. I like to do Jager-bombs and drink Guinness at Irish Pubs. The Ladies' Man isn't much of a dancer, but I can two-step a bit. I have room mates but I have the entire downstairs of a pretty spacious house. I have a private land line too. It's where the Ladies' Man kicks it after hours. I find beautiful women to be really hot and I would never blow a dude. Just saying.

What Makes Me Different: There are men out there and then there are MEN. I am the original ladies man and I know how to show a girl a great time. Those other swamp donkeys out there have a lot to learn from the LADIES MAN!!!

Most Memorable Moment: It's a tie between hitting a home run in the playoffs in little league (it was ruled a triple with a throwing error) and telling the manager at Outback Steakhouse to fuck off when I quit.

Turn-Ons: beautiful women, hot women, boobs, smoking hot chicks
Turn-Offs: ugly girls, my boss, lousy tips, giant wangs at the gym

e-Frolics Success Stories---The Glans Family

John Thomas and Emma Glan of Wycoff, New Jersey found true love on e-Frolics. This is their success story:

John:   Hello, we are the Glans. And we found love on
            e- Frolics. 
Emma: And we want to share our success story.
John:   I've worked in sales for Yoplait since college. I was
            too busy to date. So I joined e-Frolics. Of all the
            profiles on the site, there was one that pricked my
            attention.  It was Emma's.
Emma: Before I was Emma Glan, I was lonely Emma
             Schvantz. I made a connection with John online 
             and set up a date with ease. And just like that...
             Ding Dong. Love came knocking. With a turn of
             the door knob, there stood my future husband. He
             was the total package.
John:    I couldn't believe this beautiful woman would go
             for a bald-headed yogurt slinger. I was the
             luckiest male-member on e-Frolics. The date
             went so well, I gave her a pecker on the lips.
Emma:  Our first kiss! I felt weak in the knees. I needed a
             third leg to hold myself up.
John:    I was flirting and winking at her like crazy all
             night. I was like Mr. Winky. 
Emma:  Mister? More like Captain Winky! He was so
             flirtatious. Six months later, I moved in with him. 
John:    That was the best day of my life. I had to clear out
             a bunch of junk to make room for her. I threw out
             my German helmet collection, pawned my Little
             Elvis figurine and sold my Shaft DVD on e-Bay.
Emma:  He even fixed my car with his tool. I love him so
             much.
John:    I love her so much. We owe it all to the wonderful
             folks at e-Frolics. Rock out with your socks out, 
             guys! You're the best.

Did we really need to spoon feed you?

Joke Grenade: Not Just Original Content, But More!

Someone asked me today, "What is Joke Grenade?"  In addition to being more than just  a website offering original comedic content and more than a web aggregator of humor, I realized that Joke Grenade is a unique friend.  And as my Papa used to say: "friends are unique like snowflakes.  But like snowflakes, if you pee on them--they will go away."

So, to all wondering: Joke Grenade is your friend... but do not pee on it.  Unless you are into that sort of thing.....then I am sure there is a freak or two here at Joke Grenade to satisfy your needs.
For that kind of thing... try Joke Grenade's Dating site: eFrolics.

From the Desk of Ichi the Intern

You know that awkward feeling you get when you do something for the first time and it doesn’t go as planned, but years later you find out that what you experienced wasn’t normal and hence the reason why it may have felt awkward in the first place?  Kind of like the time that I first went up a girl’s shirt and thought I had broken her tittie because she had an inverted nipple \ :  No one had told me nipples could be inverted (way to go dad….good parenting there), and for years I thought I had broken her boobie )  :  Lucky for me, I was able to get over it.  I am still a little weary of inverted nipples though.  Not the kind of thing that I want to get into. 

Anyways, I ask this question, because it had been a while since I felt this way.  That is of course until I joined Joke Grenade.  I started as an intern some time ago.  I thought it was a great opportunity coming to the Nation’s Capital for a job and a free place to stay.  As it turns out these assholes only wanted someone to do their laundry and pick up their kids from day care while they sit at home, drink beer and come up with “Comedy” for their website.  Being from a small town in Nebraska, I thought that all internships were like this.  It felt a little weird, and not right, but after a while I got used to sleeping in the garage. 

Despite the shitty hours, and having to occasionally serve as the Joke Grenade human basket ball hoop.  I am having a really good time at Joke Grenade.  There is always something to do and I have met some very interesting people, especially from the folks that have come in for their testimonials on the E-Frolics Dating Website.

Though I miss home, I love my time at Joke Grenade.  We have a lot of fun coming up with a lot of creative Jokes, Videos and more.  If only Jeff could stop coming into my bedroom when he gets “bored.”

Ichiro Fuchikama

Joke Grenade Meeting Notes 2/25

Overview:
Just had a very productive meeting where we discussed a system for FTP'ing video for the Joke Grenade video section.  Fred Castleton will upload videos to the site when he finishes editing them.  Jeff will code them to the site from there.  Wham, Bam, Thanks, Dude!


eFrolics is going to launch in the social media phase 3 on or around May 21.  In the meantime, there will be a "coming soon" graphic on its home page.  The goal here is still to have about 100 (50 men, 50 women) profiles at the onset.  Stan and Fran advice column and a sex quiz remain the main draws so far.  Still open to new ideas here though.

Joke Grenade stamps and bugs are going to put on all of the video and artwork for branding purposes.  This fits into the branding launch (phase 1) on March 18.  Fred will get a viral video list from Jeff and Tito to begin branding video for this phase.   Jeff has already begun branding on the Best Sellers Gallery and will move on to My Child Needs Therapy, Jokeflix, the gallery about the Milky Way Makeover and the soon-to-be-created explosive joke grenades gallery.   The "Awful Tee Shirt" Gallery already has some branding that has taken place. All of this can be seen on the gallery page.

Pop Culture page has been mapped out and Tito and Jeff decided on leaving the Home Page at Five Headlines so as to not bog down potential visitors.  Instead of having old material cascade down the page, content will be replaced each time to fit into the five spots.

For the Geeks...

E-frolics, the sex and dating page at jokegrenade.com finally has been styled.  There has been no paint on the walls or carpet on the floor for about a week now.  But now, Joke Grenade has a total of five different style sheets for two distinct looks site-wide.

As a newcomer to web design, it was a pain in the tail to get the second CSS to talk to the first one.  Eventually it came together though.  So the Joke Grenade home page as well as the gallery, video, news, pop culture and miscellaneous pages boast that deep gray camouflage look while the sex and dating page is a clean, white parody of Match or e-Harmony.

There are a million different directions to take e-frolics in terms of writing.  The possibilities seem endless.  I'm excited about it.  Hopefully something great will materialize.  Again, for all of your comedy needs: video parodies, fake news, zany pop culture commentaries and all the satirical graphic design you can handle... Joke Grenade is the place.  It is your baby.  It is your daddy.  But it's not your baby daddy.  You don't know him.

Peace,
Jeff the Web Designer

Have You Seen This Show "Matlock?"

Written by Toby the TV Critic
joke grenade reviews


This show is the coolest.  It stars the same guy who played Andy Griffith in the Andy Griffith Show, whose name is escaping me right now.  But in his role as Matlock, he defends innocent people wrongfully accused of murder and gets them acquitted.  Every single episode he defends an innocent person accused of murder!  Hold on though, it gets way better.  At the end of every episode, Matlock figures out a way to get the real killer to confess on the stand.  Pretty dang nifty!  Episode after episode, this formula never seems to tire.  In fact, I just seem to want more and more.  My favorite part of the show is when Matlock eats hotdogs.  He is always eating those hotdogs--it is just a scream.

Every time I see the show, Matlock is wearing the same light gray suit.  I don't know if it's a coincidence or what.  Maybe he wears the same suit on Mondays and Tuesdays when I watch the show.  Perhaps if I watched the show on a Friday, he'd have on a tweed coat for instance.  If you haven't caught this show yet, you're missing a 60-minute thrill ride, chock-full of laughs and exciting plot twists.  Matlock makes shows like Perry Mason and Columbo seem unoriginal and bland.  Check it out if you get the chance and spread the word.

I'm also contractually obligated to plug all the other great things at jokegrenade.com.  There is excellent fake news, hilarious videos, funny graphic art galleries, a hip pop culture section and you can even score a date in the "sex and dating" section.  Follow Joke Grenade on Facebook and Twitter too.  Cheers  (not the show... just signing off).

First

This is the first entry of the blog supporting the website jokegrenade.com.  So I guess I will talk a little bit about the site.  Joke Grenade is a web satire daily focusing on everything from video to graphic art to fake news.  There is a fair amount of social commentary present on the site as well.  Check it out and get a fresh perspective on pop culture and global events.

Joke Grenade offers daily updates of silly news headlines and absurdly hilarious graphic designs.  There is also a wife beater of the month where headline-making domestic abusers are subject to ridicule.  A Town Moron (Joke Grenade's first official character) gives his take on pop culture events twice a month too.  The video section is in its infancy and is updated as often as possible.  The Sex and Dating section allows you to fill out a profile and find a match amongst the lowest of the low.  Go there now to drag the bottom of the barrel... jokegrenade.com/dating.html.

Hope to see you there and thanks for taking the time to read my fuggin blog.
Peace,
Jeff the Editor