NEWS ARCHIVES

Hit TV Show Dallas Renews Tony Romo's

Contract for Ninth Season

Popular Actor to Reprise Role of Oil Tycoon and Part-Time

Quarterback in the Hit TV Series.  Who Ever Did Shoot J.R.?

Couple Claims to Have Qualified for

'Mile High Club' After Honeymooning

in Denver Area

Sex Romp in Coors Field Cheap Seats "Clinched It" According

to Newlyweds.  Related: Shrinking Airline Bathrooms to Blame

For Declining Membership into Mile High Club?

No Second-Date With Feminist Direct

Result of Careless Title Nine Comment

Chad Huddleston Realized Not Having Varsity Men's Water 

Polo Team  Not Really That Fucking Important in Hindsight.

Tales of Vacation Sins Return Home With

Las Vegas Resident, Loophole Unfair

Irritating Co-Worker Keeps Saying

"Roger" and "Copy That"

These Stories and More Made-Up Bull Shit at

JOKE GRENADE NEWS

Doctor Hang Low

Doctor Kenneth Hanglowe, PhD, MFT, NP is a private-practicing psychiatrist specializing in marital and family therapy.

In addition, the good doctor is a licensed nurse practitioner who can answer all of your questions from anatomy to sex to relationship to easing into the sidewinder sex position from the T-Bone.
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Here is some counseling from the good doctor:

I was wondering if it were legal to marry a clone of yourself, would that make you gay or just some sort of narcissist? Also, would that qualify as a gay marriage? If not, I would totally want myself inside of myself.

Kenny from Toledo

Kenny, since your question is a hypothetical one, my answer is brief. In your scenario above, that would make you more of a narcissist or self-focused person than it would a homosexual. But you do have my blessing to go screw yourself.

Dr. Hanglowe

@princessAngela: Hey Dr. Hanglowe. I shared a bottle of diet coke with this guy I slept with last night.

He backwashed like crazy and got his spit all over the  bottle. Should I be worried about AIDS or anything?

@docHanglowe: Hey Angela! It takes upwards of a gallon of saliva to transmit HIV (the virus that causes AIDS). It is most unlikely. My concern is the sexual intercourse part, you used a condom, right?

@princessAngela: Shit!

More Advice from Dr. Hanglowe available at:

e-Frolics (a division of Joke Grenade).

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Dr. Hanglowe is pronounced with a soft 'G' like 'hangover' or 'hangout' and not like 'haggard' or 'haggish.' No question is too stupid for Doc Hanglowe, if you're dumb enough to ask it.

Get Dating Advice on e-Frolics with Stan and Fran

Get prudent sex and relationship advice from Stan and Fran Lindhoff, the once-married, now divorced co-hosts of the much ballyhooed Stan and Fran Radio Hour. 

PREVIOUSLY ON THE STAN AND FRAN RADIO HOUR:

LINE 2: What are some things I can do to improve my sex life physically and  

                  emotionally?

                                                         

STAN:   The best things to do for your sex life are to eat beets, take a daily multi-

                 vitamin and learn the art of flattery. Women are powerless to flattery.

FRAN:  Clearly, my ex-husband is a fucking moron.  But I suppose the beet does

                hold nutritional benefits for the body.

STAN:   And clearly, my co-host here isn't getting many nutritional benefits out of 

                her diet.  There's a reason this a radio show and not television, folks.

LINE 2: Wow. It sounds like this is a bad time... I think I'll call back later.

Top-notch dating advice on e-Frolics

(a division of Joke Grenade)

Love... Get Some.

A Sex Quiz from e-Frolics

In order to pair you up with the most compatible dating profiles possible, e-Frolics has put together a very scientific quiz about sex, sexuality and Human nature.


All you need is your honesty. No need to cram for this one. In fact, "cramming" would mean something else entirely in this situation (as would "all-nighter").

So put on your thinking cap. There's no wrong answer... unless you're lying your ass off.


1. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN INVOLVED IN A DONKEY PUNCH?
     A. I'm not a fan of equine pugilism. 
     B. No, that's just an urban legend.
     C. I did that yesterday. I'm still on queer street as a result.


2. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE?
     A. I'm not gay and believe only straight people have the right to
         become dead inside from a loveless union.
     B. I support a gay couple's right to only have sex with each other
         until their genitals are rendered useless from old age.
     C. I am gay and wish straight people would get their heads out of
         their asses.


3. DO YOU READ OR WATCH PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIALS?
     A. Indeed. Got a sweet little whack stack back at the pad.
     B. What asshole hasn't been exposed to this billion dollar industry?
     C. I make my own. I'm a bit of a filmmaker. My scenes end with a
         squinting facial as a flock of doves are released. Sort of a Sergio
         Leone meets John Woo. Can you dig it?


FINISH THE 50 QUESTION QUIZ AT
e-FROLICS (a partner of jokegrenade.com)